Differences Between Children

I spent Friday outside replanting the garden area in my front yard.  Some of the plants were damaged due to a few freezes this past winter and it’s also needed mulch for at least the past year or so.  We just were not ready to put money into it and had not made the time to do it.  It looked pretty bad (to put it nicely!) and was definitely time to make it look beautiful again.

My parents came over to help with all the planting and to have extra sets of eyes on my two daughters since the road runs right in front of my house.  The girls had an absolute blast playing outside in the water from the hose and in all the dirt.  My oldest was kind enough to spray water into the dirt to create a small mud hole for my youngest daughter.  In the picture my little dirtball is actually wearing a light purple tank top and light green shorts with flowers.  Who knew?!  We did the signs for DIRTY (alot!), TREE, GRASS, FLOWER, WATER, and HOT.

I think I was the one who did the most learning during this project, noticing the differences in personalities between my two girls.  My youngest loves to get as wet and dirty as possible, whereas the oldest does not.  My youngest also held the worms and bugs we found, whereas my oldest was squeamish.  My youngest climbed on top of all the bags of mulch to get as high up as possible and laughed as she teetered precariously on the edge, whereas my oldest preferred to stay on the ground.  But my oldest always desires to help (even with washing dishes or watering the garden) and my youngest could care less.

Are your children like this?  Is the oldest child usually the helper and the youngest rebellious?  I wasn’t sure if this is pretty typical or if it’s just my kids.  I also wonder how this would change, if at all, if we had a third child.  Time to go so I can pry my youngest off the coffee table…

Why Isn’t My Baby Doing the Signs?

You may be thinking to yourself…I’ve read your articles, I’m  following your 8 key tips for successfully teaching my baby to sign,  I’ve read other books…I think I’m doing everything right.  So why am I not getting the same results as you?!!!

Don’t worry, you are not alone!  Here is an excerpt from an email I received from a mom who is using sign language with her 11 month old daughter.

“I loved reading about everything on your site, but feel overwhelmed.  I’ve been signing milk, up, mommy, daddy, dog, cat, bear, horse, (several other animals because of her favorite book “Brown Bear”), baby, beautiful, sleep, dirty diaper, more, thank you, food and possibly a few more.  However she’s only somewhat got milk and that’s about it.  I’m consistently doing it and my husband is pretty good at remembering to sign too, but she’s not there yet.  It’s been 4 months since I started signing and she’s physically really advanced but I’m wondering if I’m doing something wrong.  As mentioned before, I feel overwhelmed.  I don’t want to home school, however I don’t want to stifle her growth either.  I feel like I’m doing a good job as a mother, but then I see your daughter speaking and using so many signs or a baby on a video who is reading at 15 months.  My daughter is only 11 months old and hasn’t clearly said her first word yet.  She’s walking already, but should she be doing more as far as signing, speaking, etc.?”

Just the fact that this mother is so concerned about her child lets me know she is a great mom.  It sounds like she is doing everything right when signing with her daughter too…using developmentally appropriate signs and using them consistently.  It is VERY common for parents to say the exact same thing this mother has expressed to me.  I think this often happens because babies are actually getting their needs met so well that they simply have no need to use the signs they know!  So the good news for this mom and others out there is that you are no doubt great parents and doing everything right.

I believe the difference in outcome comes down to two things: different babies and different approach.  What I mean by different babies is that every child has a different personality and will respond in a different way when exposed to sign language.  One child may pick up sign language very easily, whereas another might need more exposure and practice before he picks it up.  Or another child may be the observant type and will watch you do signs for months before finally making the sign himself.  It does not mean he cannot or will not ever sign, but for whatever reason is just not ready to sign yet.  Yet another child may simply not want to sign at all and will fight or even struggle with you because you want him to make the sign and he simply refuses.  With children like this I tell the parent it is not worth it in the long run if it causes unnecessary stress with your child.  Signing is supposed to be fun for both of you and if it ever gets to the point where it’s not, then I recommend you stop.  It may be something you can retry in a few months when your child may be more receptive, or may not be worth pursuing again at all.  Your child will not be harmed or unintelligent just because you do not sign with him.

For example, I have seen a difference in personalities and communication styles between my own two daughters.  The oldest is more willing to please but cautious, whereas the youngest is more stubborn and an adventurer.  When observing their communication styles, my oldest was talking much less but using more signs at 15 months old.  My youngest (currently 15 months old) is much more verbal and depends on speech to communicate just as much, if not more, than sign language.  My oldest was interested in learning about letters in the bathtub, whereas my youngest does not show that same interest.  Instead she is intrigued by dumping water from a container back into the tub.  Does this mean my youngest is not as smart as my oldest?  No.  She just seems to be more interested in the physical world and how things work, whereas my oldest is (and has been since a young age) more interested in the idea of reading and writing.  What this means is that my youngest may not be reading by 3 years old like my oldest or even care to read until she is 6 years old.  Every child is unique and different, so it does no good to compare yours to mine or any other child.

The other main difference in outcome is my approach to communication due to my background and training in speech therapy.  Communication is the exchange of information or ideas, which means at least two people must be involved.  What this means is I desire a response from my children (whether signed or verbal) before giving them what they want.  When teaching my daughter sign language, I want for her to do SOMETHING before I give her the food or object she wants.  For example, I may know she wants a cracker and even have them out.  I do the sign for ‘CRACKER’ and say the word “cracker” while holding up the cracker.  I then wait for her to do something…whether it is make a noise or do something with her hands.  What she does may not sound like the word “cracker” or look like the sign for ‘CRACKER’, but she gave me a response in order to get her cracker.  This exchange is actually teaching the foundation of communication.  Basically, you tell me what you want and then I can give it to you.  Or you say something, then me, and the exchange continues back and forth.  Only once your child understands that this back-and-forth exchange is important and needs to take place, will she use sign to communicate with you.

One important caveat to the paragraph above is when you are looking for a response from your child, make sure the situation and timing is appropriate.  Use common sense.  You do not want to make your child sit in a dirty diaper all day until he tells you it is dirty, or not give him anything to eat for several hours until he does a particular sign.  Also if your child is tired, hungry, or already upset then you do not want to force him to do a sign before you will meet his needs.  It should be done when you have a happy, well-rested, content baby who just wants another cracker.

In the end, the best advice I can give any parent is to trust your intuition.  As long as you feel you are doing what is right for your child, you probably are.  And your idea about what is right may change as you gain more information about a topic or even with the addition of another child who reacts in a completely different way to the things you do.  Your instincts are usually right, and I believe your child is yours for a reason…because you are the best mommy or daddy out of all the others for your child and you will instinctively know what is best.

Are you having any difficulties signing with your child or getting your child to sign back to you?  Or maybe you have questions about my approach?  You may comment below or contact me at karianne@earlybirdeducation.net.

8 Key Tips for Successfully Teaching Your Baby to Sign

1.  Always say the word and sign the word together.

By saying the word as you sign it, you are providing another avenue (auditory) for your baby to learn and understand the word or concept.

2.  Sign the one most important word out of the sentence or phrase you are speaking, and repeat it 2-3 times if possible.

Initially when you are signing, you want to keep it simple.  You should choose the most important word to sign from a phrase or sentence you are speaking.  When you do this, you are highlighting one particular word out of a phrase and slowing down your speech rate, making it easier for your baby to understand this word and grow his vocabulary.  For example, if you are asking your baby “Do you want some milk?” you would say this but only use the sign ‘MILK’ when you say the word “milk” at the end.

You also should try to say and sign the word 2-3 times to reinforce the connection between the word, sign, and object.  Still using the above example, you might say “Do you want some milk?  Yes you do want some milk!  You are thirsty for milk.”  As you can see, you have maximized this opportunity by speaking, signing, and showing the object three times.

3.  Always ’speak’ for your baby when he does the sign.

You should always say the word for what your baby has just signed.  Essentially you are speaking for your baby until he is able to speak for himself!

4.  Give your baby the goods (milk, cracker, toy, point to the picture) immediately after saying and signing the word.

The closer you are able to present the word, sign, and object together the more quickly he will start to associate them together and learn the concept.

5.  Look for small attempts at communication (sign or verbal) and validate them by signing and saying the word again.

Your baby is always trying to communicate with you.  Watch for hand and arm movements and listen for sounds your baby is making.  For example, your baby may be eating food and initially clasp his hands together for the sign “more”.  Since you were paying attention, you can say and sign “More!  Yes, you want more!” again.  This lets him know that you were paying attention to his attempt to communicate with you, and reinforces this attempt.  He is much more likely to do it again since he got a positive response from you (and more food too!).  All babies initially make approximations of signs and with time and increased muscle control, become more accurate.

6.  Give lots of kisses, smiles, and encouragement for any attempt at communication.

This is the easiest tip of all!  Signing should be fun and rewarding for both you and your baby.  When done in a positive way, your baby is encouraged to sign and will want to please you.  Do not ever force a baby to do a sign if he doesn’t want to.

7.  Continue to say and do the correct sign for your baby to reinforce communication.

Babies do not usually make signs correctly to begin with.  For example, your baby’s sign for “more” might start out as a clasp of two hands together, then change to a clap with open hands, then change to one hand using the “flat o” handshape while the other hand remains open, and then finally to using the “flat o” handshape with both hands and make the sign properly.  The same thing happens with speech.  Initially your baby might say “aaa” for ball, then “baaa”, and eventually say it correctly “ball”.  This process is normal, and just like you would continue to say the correct word “ball” for your baby while speaking, you should continue to use the correct sign while signing.  With a proper model, your baby’s sign and speech approximations will become accurate.

8.  Consistency, consistency, consistency.

You must be consistent with using signs each day, and across time.  Only through multiple exposures will your baby be able to learn the new sign and word you are teaching him.  Just like you wouldn’t expect your baby to know how to swim after only a couple lessons, you can’t expect him to learn a sign after seeing it once or twice.  As with swimming lessons, it is only after going all summer long for several years can a person become a decent swimmer.  The same applies to learning to sign.  Consistency is the key.

The Snowball Effect- Baby Sign to Early Reading

We are all familiar with the “snowball effect”- it’s a process that starts out as something small, which then grows and builds upon itself.  I believe this is exactly what has happened with my daughters due to the use of sign language when they were infants.

For example, my oldest daughter used her first sign ‘MILK’ independently at 6 months old and quickly learned more than 30 signs.  Her expanding vocabulary, both sign and verbal, lead to an early interest in books because she learned that books contain “information” (pictures) and there was always something new to learn, sign, and talk about.  By 16 months old she was verbally identifying 15 letters of the alphabet (which she learned during bath time with foam letters) and currently, at 3 years old, she is reading and doing basic math.

Don’t get me wrong, my daughter has an amazing memory and I know this has definitely contributed to her ability to learn so quickly.  But I also firmly believe that baby sign language has given her this advantage, and more than anything has instilled a love of learning in her.  From the beginning, we established a special bond because I was spending quality time playing and talking with her.  She learned early on that I listened to what she ’said’ (signed) and what she had to say was important.  Then one day it was like a light went off in her head and she realized that every object around her had a ‘name’ (sign) and this started the process of learning vocabulary sooner.  I was able to meet her needs, and she looked to me as a source of new information (signs or verbal vocabulary).  Then once she was able to produce sounds more accurately, it was just a matter of her filling in the sounds with the vocabulary she already knew in her head.

Because she realized that books were a source of information (and initially it was just pictures of common things and animals), she grew to love them at a very early age.  Due to sign language, she was able to interact with me and the books even before she could say many words.  Book familiarity (knowing how to hold a book, turn pages from right to left, those things on the page are letters and words) came earlier than average, which lead to recognizing letters, remembering their sounds, and eventually to reading.

As you can see, it started out small with learning sign language as a baby.  But each baby step grew and evolved into something I never imagined possible.  While the “snowball effect” may not happen for every baby learning sign, I do believe sign language can benefit every child and can instill a curiosity and love for learning at an early age.

A Window Into Language Development

When using sign language with your baby, it opens up a window into her world that you would not otherwise be privy to.  A perfect example happened today with my 13 month old daughter.  I was commenting to my husband about getting some much needed “Zzzzzzz” while holding my daughter.  She proceeded to sign the word “cheese”.  It makes perfect sense this is what she thought I said because they both sound very similar.  But she only understands and has meaning for the word “cheese” and that was the closest word in her vocabulary that matched what I had said.  Another good example was one day when she was sitting in her high chair for lunch and I told her to take a “bite”.  Again, this was a new word for her, and the only word that matched in her vocabulary was “light” so she proceeded to point to the light above us.

Children are amazing little beings, and this proves that they are avidly listening and attempting to understand the world around them, even at a year old.  Without sign language though, I would not have had any idea that she was paying such close attention, and she would not have been able to communicate to me her misunderstanding about the words I had used.  From this valuable information I am able to clear up the error and have an opportunity to teach her another new sign.

A note to the reader…

Beware: Watch what you say around your children, as they are always listening!!

What Baby Signs Should I Do Next: Life After ‘MILK’

Your baby will likely be engaging more in the environment around her, and this provides the perfect opportunity to introduce new signs.  Food, toys, pets are all great places to start. With my two daughters, the signs they learned unfolded something like this:

• MILK
• FOOD/EAT
• HI
• BYE-BYE
• MORE
• ALL-DONE
• UP
• DOWN
• THIRSTY (I found this sign to be easier to do than ‘DRINK’)
• Foods such as CRACKER, CHEESE, WATER, JUICE, APPLE, COOKIE
• THANK-YOU
• PLEASE
• Animals such as DOG (puppy), CAT (kitty), COW, HORSE
• BATH
• DIAPER
• BALL
• BABY
• BOOK

For example, I taught ‘MORE’ by doing the sign each time before I gave her a bite of food.  After doing this for about a week or two, I helped her put her hands together and said “more” while doing it.  I then gave her a bite of food.  Soon after that she began doing the sign by herself and I would say “more” for her and then give her more food.

I taught ‘ALL-DONE’ by doing it at the end of mealtime, bathtime, changing diapers, car rides…or any daily routine in our house.

You will find that after learning only a few signs your baby will begin to pick up signs more quickly.  I believe it is because she has learned to watch your hands for signs, knows that what you do with your hands means something, and knows she can copy what you do in order to communicate.  She is able to make the connection between the sign and concept/object more rapidly and it just snowballs from there.

The introduction of signs will vary for each family depending on the type of foods you eat, the animals you encounter, and your daily routine but this should provide you with a good starting point.  You will be guided by your baby as to her interests and what her life revolves around, so I encourage you to use signs that will be most helpful and useful for you.

Have questions?  Please email me at Karianne@earlybirdeducation.net

How to Communicate Using Baby Sign Language

(This post originally appeared as an article in the June 2009 issue of giggle Magazine)

The physical act of speaking -speech- is an extremely complex task requiring fine motor control of over 100 muscles in your mouth, face, and neck.  Each word requires a different configuration of most of these muscles, so it’s no wonder the average child takes about 2 years to speak!   Baby sign language bridges this gap between your baby’s ability to understand the world and her ability to communicate to the world.  Just because she isn’t able to communicate with you verbally, it does not mean her brain isn’t ‘on’ and working.  With sign language she is able to use the larger muscles in her hands and arms to communicate with you until the fine motor muscles used for speech have become more fully developed.  By using baby sign language, you are taking advantage of your baby’s ability to learn and communicate even though she’s unable to verbalize any words yet.

There are many positive effects when you as a parent or caregiver are able to communicate effectively with your child from the earliest age. Using sign language with your infant or toddler allows you to begin communication many months ahead of normal ‘verbal’ communication.  You’re also able to reinforce what she learns by adopting positive interaction strategies such as following your child’s focus of interest, making eye contact, speaking slowly, and using key words. This means that one sign can quickly lead to two, two signs to four, four to eight, and so forth. Additionally, you will get many great benefits by communicating earlier with your baby such as:

• Establishing a strong bond with your child early on.

• Greatly reducing or eliminating tantrums and frustrations because your baby is able to communicate her wants and needs clearly (e.g. You know she wants ‘JUICE’ rather than ‘MILK’).

• Learning to read at an earlier age. Research clearly shows that ‘typical’ babies who sign also learn to read early, speak sooner, have larger vocabularies, and higher IQs.

A good time to start introducing sign to your baby is when she is about 6-8 months old.  I recommend using American Sign Language (ASL) because everyone who comes into contact with your child can use the same signs. ASL is a language in its own right, so any signs used by your child can then be understood by those who know that sign system. What this really means for your child is that people will be less likely to get confused about the meaning of a particular sign so long as they are familiar with ASL.

For your baby’s first sign, ‘MILK’ is a great one to start with.  The sign ‘MILK’ is made by opening and closing your hand (e.g. imagine milking a cow) and is the perfect introductory sign because it’s an easy sign for your baby to make. Also, since babies drink milk so often during the first year of life, you are provided with numerous teachable moments every single day.

Remember these 3 keys to success when introducing your first sign:

• Be consistent – use the sign frequently throughout the day, whenever a teachable moment presents itself

• Never sign in silence – always say the word along with doing the sign (i.e. say “milk” and sign the word ‘MILK’ together)

• Reinforce the meaning of the sign (i.e. give your baby the goods (milk!) immediately after saying/signing the word)

There are numerous books and resources available to learn baby sign language that can be found by doing a simple internet search.  I recommend books that specifically use ASL signs and have clear pictures with descriptions on how to make each sign (such as Teach Your Tot to Sign: A Parents’ Guide to American Sign Language, by Stacy A. Thompson).  I also recommend using songs with sign language as a fun way to learn new signs (such as “Pick Me Up! Fun Songs for Learning Signs, by Sign 2 Me) and using signs while looking at picture books (such as the Priddy books).

Personally, baby sign has been an extremely rewarding experience for me with each of my daughters (3 years and 1 year old).  It has opened a line of communication between us that I never imagined possible at such an early age.  My goal is for parents and caregivers to learn about the benefits and experience the joy of using sign language with their babies.